I don't have children of my own, but I'm blessed to have an important role in the lives of many kids, including my eight nephews and my niece. A dear friend and colleague inspired this evening's post, when she commented on my first post:
"One step I can take is to be willing to apologize to my children if I am impatient or inattentive."
We're human, so we're going to be impatient and inattentive at times, with the children in our lives and with others. We teach them how to be good humans by teaching them to take responsibility for their actions and the effect they have on others by taking responsibility for own actions and their effects.
I like to see myself as an extraordinary aunt. I love these kids so much and truly enjoy being with them. So when one of my brothers pointed out to me recently (and fairly gently) that I shouldn't make promises to the kids and not follow through, I was devastated. "What are you talking about?" I asked. He reminded me that one of my 8-year-old nephews and I had enthusiastically discussed taking a road trip together one summer. Then I got busy and distracted and didn't think about it much anymore. When I realized my nephew was disappointed and confused, I felt so bad. And I felt humiliated that my brother had to point it out to me. But I put on my big girl panties, as they say, and I told my nephew how sorry I was that we hadn't taken the trip. I explained to him that I had gotten distracted and kind of forgotten it, and apologized for not discussing it with him. He's a cool kid anyway and just said, "That's okay, Aunt Cathy." I felt much better. And I had a much better sense of the powerful effect I have on the people in my life. I'm much more careful now about what I commit to and about keeping the commitments I do make.
Can some of you parents weigh in on this topic?
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yes, it is true.... we need to treat children as we would like to be treated ourselves and also the same as we would treat any other grown up in our life. They have a more simplistic view of the world and do tend to take thing literally. I like to have discussions with my children just to hear what they think about things. If you just take the time to listen to them, they will astound you with their observances!
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