Relationship With Our Self

Like I said before, I'm not particularly religious, but I also think there's much to be learned about peace from the best of many spiritual traditions.  Today, I came across this piece from The Praxis Peace Institute, written by Jack Kornfield (he's addressing dharma practitioners, but that's irrelevant to my interest):

[How] do we find our own place in a complex political world, and find a way towards peace? Our first task is to make our own heart a zone of peace. Instead of becoming entangled in an embattled bitterness, or cynicism that exists externally, we need to begin to heal those qualities within ourselves. We have to face our own suffering, our own fear, and transform them into compassion. Only then can we become ready to offer genuine help to the outside world. Albert Camus writes, "We all carry within us our places of exile, our crimes, our ravages.  Our task is not to unleash them on the world; it is to transform them in ourselves."

A [person] who wants to act in the sphere of politics must quiet their mind and open their heart.  Meditate, turn off the news, turn on Mozart, walk through the trees or the mountains and begin to make yourself peaceful.  Make yourself a zone of peace, and allow the sensitivity and compassion that grows from our interconnection to extend to all beings. If we're not peaceful how can we create harmony in the world? If our own minds are not peaceful, how can we expect peace to come through the actions that we take?  http://www.praxispeace.org/views_jack_kornfield.php

There's such wisdom in the idea that all peace - in the world or in our communities or in our relationships - begins with peace within ourselves (it's sort of the premise of this blog).

Relationships With a Partner's Ex

Talk about a difficult topic.  In all my years of dating and relationships and even marriage, I’ve never had to deal with a partner’s angry ex - until now.  Suffice it to say that some of the behavior would not be out of place on a Jerry Springer episode (no, I was not the reason for their divorce - I came along years later).  I have allowed their conflicts to create tremendous dis-ease for me, even leading me to put the relationship, which is otherwise quite extraordinary, on hold several times.

Recently, my teacher and inspiration Katherine Woodward Thomas helped me realize that I could look at this experience in a different way.  I’m in the process of stepping into a new body of work, focused on life coaching and mediation in the field of interpersonal relationships.  Katherine helped me see that this experience actually supported my ability to work with people who are in tremendous pain and conflict. 

I became willing to welcome the experience (ugh).  I even sent her an email telling her I had compassion for her and wished her the best (and meant it).   Being so close to so much anger is still not easy.  I still find my heart racing and my breath shallow, wondering what’s next.  But I’m able to “be” with it more productively.  My note, by the way, had no discernible, immediate effect on her.  But its effect on me was profound.  The "peace" is now more prevalent for me than the panic.

I'm sure some of you have your own stories?