I know this from my own experience working as a low level executive in a large corporation. The thing I liked least about my work was dealing with unhappy employees, whether they were unhappy with me or someone else or just in general.
I have tremendous resentment toward a woman I worked for (last worked for 7 years ago!). I found her behavior demeaning, rigid, distrusting. I felt diminished. I'd worked so hard to get where I was and this new boss thought I was sabatoging her. I tried everything I could think of to "change her mind," but ultimately I asked to be moved to another area of the company.
When I think of this person, I can feel my body contract and stiffen. Not peaceful. Luckily I don't think of her very often. I was surprised about a year ago to get a LinkedIn invitation from her, and I took pleasure in not responding. Not peaceful.
So what steps can I take to repair or heal this relationship?
Well, for starters, I could be willing to let go of this resentment. Yes, I am willing to do that. It's a small step, but it's enough for now.
If I want to take a larger step, I can consider some sort of communication. I don't think that I've harmed her in any way. But I did cut off communication with her entirely and I did ignore her invitation to be linked in. What I'd like to say to her is:
- I received your invitation, and I apologize for not responding to it sooner.
- I'm not sure whether you realize how dismayed and disappointed I was by how our professional relationship proceeded.
- If you would like to talk about it, I'd be willing to do that. If not, I certainly understand and (sincerely) wish you the best.
What do you think? Do you have your own conflicts at work?
